Good grief, what a start to the new year!

We didn’t do much this month but it feels like it’s been a long one.  We had plans to go to Gatlinburg over the long MLK weekend, but the weather took a turn and we decided to shoot for Presidents Day weekend next month instead.

We’ve all been sick sick sick this month. It started as chills and fevers and turned into coughs and fatigue. I lost my sense of smell and taste about a week into being ill.

The boys seemed to get over it quickly (thank goodness!) but I’m still recovering. It’s miserable and still hanging on almost 2 weeks later.

We got some devastating news mid month which has added even more exhaustion to my recovery. Audie had some bloody diarrhea so we went to the vet. X rays were done and there was what appeared to be another mass on his liver.

He was extremely anemic and the mass was inoperable. He looked like he had aged years in a matter of weeks since his annual visit.

Doc gave him a few weeks and we opted to keep him comfortable until the time came. My poor bub beat the odds for so long, but it just wasn’t enough.

We had to let him go on the 25th. He went downhill so quickly. The cancer was spreading and he was swelling up, having trouble breathing. It was really hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I miss him so much.

The whole house is so strange without him. Indie is struggling as much as the rest of us. The sadness comes in waves. I know we did the right thing but it’s so hard. He really was our family.

I wanted to spend more time reminiscing on Audie, but I can’t bring myself to dwell on it yet. It’s still too raw and I am still too exhausted to put everything he deserves into words. I really miss my sweet bub with all my heart.

We’ve been so consumed with sickness and grief this month, we are looking forward to the next chapter.

Until then,

Cheers!

– A. xoxo