How can this crazy year really be this close to being over?!

We kept ourselves busy this month for a change!

The first weekend of the month, we went to a pumpkin patch just outside of Springfield, Tennessee.

We took some family photos the next weekend.

We hadn’t had professional photos done since our wedding (almost 8 years ago!) so we were excited to get some with our newest addition.

Even the doggos did awesome. We wanted to get some with Audie since he’s getting older and he’s such a good bub. Indie did fantastic as well, so it was a great experience. I’m really impressed with how everything turned out. We are already planning to schedule another session when Little Man is 6 months old.

The third weekend in October, the Mister and I got out and voted early. This was a huge deal as the Mister hasn’t voted in 12+ years. We masked up and did our civic duty. We’ll have to see how it pans out.

In other news…I’ve been having some anxiety flare ups recently. Mostly involving Little Man’s sleeping. He sleeps just fine in his pack ‘n play in our room (he has a mattress added so he’s not sleeping on the crappy, uncomfortable mat it comes with)–the anxiety is entirely unfounded. I find myself unable to sleep well despite him being right next to the bed, just like he was in the bassinet.

I’m constantly checking on him, making sure he’s still breathing. He’s never had any issues with breathing, he’s not quite rolling yet, and he’s 100% healthy. I’m not sure if it stems from him sleeping through the night now or if something in my head has decided now is the time to panic.

He has always been put on his back in an empty bassinet/pack ‘n play/crib. We’ve never let him cosleep. He’s always a comfortable temperature. I feel like we’re doing everything right in the sleep department but lately my thoughts have turned to worst case scenario.

The idea of SIDS terrifies me to my very core. Maybe it’s because I worried my entire pregnancy (I was petrified that something was going to go wrong or I would lose him–that’s why we waited so long to announce/confirm) and I’m still in that brand new mommy mode.

Why I’m just now consumed with these awful thoughts, I’m not sure. After all, he’s almost at the age where the risk drops off significantly. 

Anyway, I am very tempted to call my doctor to discuss medication or something, because I’m frustrated with myself. He’s such a perfect baby.

Maybe it’s just my brain’s way of navigating all the changes recently — guys, he is growing so fast and I am so not ready for my baby to grow up; plus, being unemployed and his sole carer during the day is quite an adventure in itself!

Thank goodness we have been keeping busy. If we do enough during the day, my nights are a little easier. Basically, if I tucker myself out, the anxiety fairy stays away.

I did get to introduce Little Man to college football, something I wasn’t sure I’d get to do this season. He has no idea what went on, but he looked adorable in his Husker onesie.

Speaking of back home, we’re sad to find out my parents both tested positive for COVID in the last week of the month. They thought it was just a normal seasonal sinus infection, but when Mom went to the doctor they had her get tested.

Dad is waiting for his official results, but he was having the same symptoms Mom did. We’re still hopeful they’ll be well in time to visit for Thanksgiving. Fingers crossed the worst is behind them.

As the holidays are coming up fast, I’m struggling to get in the mood. I found myself not enjoying things like I usually do — which is awful as Halloween is my favorite and it marks the beginning of the holiday season.

This pandemic has really taken its toll. I haven’t been inside a big box/grocery store since May. I’m terribly worried that my parents won’t be well enough to come for Thanksgiving — selfish maybe, but I really need to see familiar faces.

We didn’t get to shop for Little Man’s first Halloween costume like we’d have liked, nor were we able to dress up as a family or decorate for Trunk or Treat. I couldn’t even find my Halloween decorations (moving + baby = a lot of unfinished to-do lists).

We did come up with a cute costume for Little Man, despite the lack of shopping (thank goodness for Amazon Prime!).

We only bought one pumpkin, thinking we’d be able to find more later in the month. Haha. Biggest lie ever. I’m still holding out hope that the Mister finds one more (I want to do a cheesy photo of Little Man sitting in one). We did get ours carved though!

October definitely passed us by in a flash. I’m hoping November will prove to be similarly packed with adventures.

2020 has been a long ride, but I’m determined to enjoy what’s left of it and make more sweet memories with my little tribe.

Until then,

Cheers!

–A. xoxo